September 2015

PNP with Crystal and Tina

Dear Readers, He was a terrible man my Mother pronounced today in a moment of pure honesty. I admire her for being so honest – perhaps this is the source of  my brutal honesty.  There was no emotion, she said it the same way she would say “It’s raining.” My father will be buried next to my brother who died of AIDS 14 years ago. My brother was not gay,

Go Gently into the Elysian Fields

Dear Readers, After I wrote that my father had died last night – Monday night- and the hospital had called to say that they could not keep him alive even on a ventilator- at 3:00PM today he was still breathing. My sisters were in disbelief. There was no way he should have survived. Yet there he was- a breathing facsimile of my father- alive but only technically so. It was

Daddy’s Gone.

Dear Readers, I was awaken this  morning at 1AM. It was my sister- the doctor- our father was technically dead, his heart and lungs being moved by a machine. I was sad. He died alone and I am sure he was afraid. I know however that he has been forgiven and that he is wherever souls go to comeback or go to rest. He was a complex man, charming, intelligent,

Sugar is the new Crack.

Dear Readers I have a love/ hate relationship with food. The pendulum swings from super healthy to I dont care, Im going to eat donuts, potatio chips and ice-cream until I’m sick. And then, I dont eat anything else, because Ive consumed so many empty calories. However, my body has had no nutrution and I’ve forced masses of insulin to be  pumped into my blood stream, which must be stored

Entertainment, Women and Alcohol. Think Before You Over Drink

Dear Readers, You are not a using addict, if you are reading this blog. You might be high or sipping something. Either way is fine by me. I am not an advocate of any type of  abstinence or moderation or drug rehabilitation. (However, if you need these services, get them.)  You are likely to be educated, with a four year college degree.   You are creative and an Aspirant-someone who is always seeking. If

Alcohol- Legalized Death

Dear Readers, I  was ten when I sought out my first drink. It was Canadian Club and I chose that brand of liquor because it was plentiful and no one would notice that some was missing. While you are all shocked at how young I was, I want you to know,  that I made this desicion with care. I had spent years watching my parents and their friends drinking. My

In Baltimore We Don’t Have Gateway Drug Conversations

Dear Readers, In Baltimore we dont have a lot of conversations about “gateway drugs”. As a city we have more pressing issues.There are 25,000 prostitutes in Baltimore. 1 out of every 5 males between the ages 19-25 are in some way being monitored by a court in Baltimore City. That means parole, probation, juvenile court, office of child support. 1 in 50 men are HIV positive and only 1 in

A Lesson on Crack

Dear Readers, There is such stigma and misinformation about crack. Crack is cocaine. Cocaine is a naturally derived substance from the cacao leaf. It can be chewed or snorted- inhaled through the nose. Crack is cocaine that is heated with water and baking soda. This process eliminates the hydrochloride, which is salt. The only chemical difference between crack and cocaine is salt. Ah, but this is the key factor, removal

Its the Intense Sexual Pleasure that keeps you Hooked.

Dear Readers, Sex on crack is intense and it is one of the reasons the drug is hard to quit and why many relapse.  Crack on the brain makes you feel beautiful and powerful and smart and sexy. Suddenly you and everyone around you seems so charming and enticing everything seems so bright. Take another puff and you are a sex goddess who can have uninhibited  sex for hours- as

Embracing the Ugly in You.

Dear Readers, I dont know where Im running to or why or from what, but I have a need to move fast and efficiently. The need for speed and to beat an imaginary stop watch is the overarching need in my life. For example, each work day the alarm is set for 6:13am. My walking commute to the train is 7 minutes. The train departs from Baltimore Maryland Penn Station