September 2015

Its Impossible to Love A Using Addict

Dear Readers, Its impossible to have a relationship with an addict who is using. The deeper the addict falls within his addiction the more self-absored they will become. There will be room for no one else. The drug will become the most important thing in their lives. Using addicts are untrustworthy even though they may proclaim to love you. Here’s why: They will justify their actions by using a theory

Take Care of Your Body it Houses your Soul.

Dear Readers, I am ill today. I have some horribly bad cross between having allergies and the flu. I am appropriately caring for myself. Today’s only message is that self care, is our number one priority. My body, your body carries your soul. As we prepare for the last official weekend of summer- the Labor Day Weekend, ask yourself “How am I caring for myself?” Are there medical, dental or

FEAR Who’s Running Your Show?

Dear Readers, I live with unidentified fear. Chaos was the   legacy of my childhood.  I am hyper-vigilant looking for what bad may come and how to protect myself. For those of unfamiliar with the term “hyper-vigilance” it works like this: Our father(or your father) at 2:30 in the morning pushes open our bedroom door. You know he’s coming because you have heard him arguing with your mother downstairs in

Self- Blame Shame and Forgiveness

Dear Readers, Often times drug addiction is correlated to early childhood trauma. The same way the brain remembers the unexpectedly good, it remembers the unexpectedly bad. When something bad happens to us as a child we do not have the mental capacity to reconcile why what happened to us happened. As children we see ourselves as all powerful- so we must blame ourselves for what someone did to us. And

An Attempted Suicide and A Happy Birthday

Dear Readers, I’m glad to be alive today, it’s my birthday today! Twenty years ago at the height or the bottom of my crack cocaine addiction, I took 3x the amount of a prescription drug called Depakote- it’s for seizures- so that I could go to sleep. Before I swallowed the pills with cheap white wine, I said to myself, “This could kill me.’ And I swallowed the pills. I