Alpha Bitch? Me?

Dear Friends,

It’s a dark and stormy night in Baltimore, and a hint of winter permeates the air.  My mood is as sulky as the weather. I am annoyed that someone- today- a male uber driver gave me the facial expression of what would amount to being called a bitch.
You ask me what did I do? I suggest it was more about what I didn’t do.
I happen to think that it is rude for taxi and uber drivers to play music unless they have earphones. I do not want to listen to your favorite indie group. Please don’t carry on long loud phone conversations while you drive me to my destination. Is this asking too much?  Apparently for some folks, yes. What I didn’t do was smile sweetly or ask  the driver if he would do me a favor and turn down his music.  I was not apologetic. Why am I expected to be charming and sweet? I can be both of those emotions, but today I had used up all of my “nice” on the Comcast folks, who were now more than 36 hours late for their Monday appointment.
I’ve already confessed in past blogs that anything that can’t move fast should move out of my way.
My same bitchy self  appears when workers whose job is to help you the customer, client, or patron insist in finishing  their conversation while I  wait. I will interupt you. No, I’m not being rude-they are! And because, I don’t have a vapid sexy smile for you, does this make me a bitch?
The people who are answering “yes”, well, I didn’t get that memo. While I am pondering, who made up these rules of female behavior any way?
So, No, I won’t put a little giggle in my talk and a little wiggle in my walk. (Yes, some kindly male superior made this suggestion to me regarding how I interacted with clients.) No males were given this tip of how to get along in a male dominated industry. And I will bet you my bar license, that no male was asked to wear brighter clothes or not so bright clothes depending whether it was the partners who thought I should put my good looks to better use or those who thought the clients would not take me seriously wearing  a lilac colored dress. But before my lilac dress became too feminine there were -and this is true-there was a time where women wore only suits with skirts and I guess were in the minority or not at all represented. Even though we are paid less for the same work  in many industries, and just because I am female do I have always to say it with a smile? I think you know my answer.
If you speak up, interrupt, correct or raise your voice above a seductive purr, then you are a bitch. Add short hair  and I wear pants often, I am judged to be a bitch or a lesbian or both.
My mother learned to smile and compliment; my grandmother learned not to complain and to keep the peace, in my world I know what I want; how and when I want it and that does not make me a bitch.
The Addict Writes

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