Dear Friends and Readers,
Last night I had a very bizarre dream. It was about Donald Trump, yes Donald Trump. Before I tell you what the dream was about I want to let you know that I am no fan of Donald Trump. I think he is a braggart and I hope he does not become President. With that being said here’s the dream or what I remembered of it.
Some how I found myself in the presence of Donald Trump wearing a silk slip like night gown- think La Perla- in the oddest shade of brownish pink. The body that I remember wearing the sleep wear was not mine- it was a thin small breasted younger woman- perhaps me at a younger time in my life. Anyway, it seems me and my significant other was spending time in one of Donald’s homes. Somehow, I found myself in a bedroom (in the dream it was more like a high-end hotel room) where Donald announced “The night-gown is a loser. Horrible. Throw it away. Buy something else.”
To put this comment in context, a La Perla night gown costs about $1,000.00 dollars. I have never owned one, but if I became extremely wealthy, I would only wear La Perla. But this of course is Donald Trump and a $1000.00 night dress is a tip to a nice looking waitress. But let me continue.
Then Donald and I had a discussion about jewelery. He gave me an odd set of rings that somehow looked like his initials set in diamonds and connected with two bands. The rings were artistically attractive, but not for me. I think I said something about them and I don’t recall what he responded. However, the response was something like the rings were only temporary. I recall thinking in the dream whether the rings had belonged to his current wife Melania.
The next part of the dream was where Donald was giving me a very expensive designer ensemble. In my recollection of the dream it looked like a St. John knit which is a very expensive knit line for women. The odd thing about the outfit which was a mostly a cream colored dress with a jacket with a band of red and blue around the collar and cuffs, was that the tags were still on the outfit and that the outfit had been bought on sale. I thought that this was odd. Why would Donald Trump or his wife (or his underlings who buy their clothes) need to buy anything on sale?
As I was looking at the dress, it occurred to me that Donald had perhaps “dumped” Melania and I was going to be her replacement. Not that he was going to marry me- just replace her with me. (This is not exciting news for me, except for the life-style, but that unfortunately includes Donald.) Then in a surprising turn of events Donald told me that I should go home because I had come with my boyfriend and he didn’t think that it was good form for he and I to start our relationship that way.
In the last scene of the dream I am driving with my boyfriend in a car and I am only wearing a white Speedo bikini bottom with the word Speedo written in blue. My boyfriend asks me where did I get the Speedo and my response was “It is after all Donald Trump.” The dream ended.
I am going to use this dream, which any of you are welcome to send me your interpretations, to segue way into sleep and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD sufferers, like myself are notoriously associated with disturbed sleep meaning that we don’t sleep well. We wake up in the middle of the night often upset and in the throws of a nightmare. Many people with PTSD try to self medicate with alcohol or drugs- prescription or otherwise so that they will be able to fall asleep. Unfortunately drugs and alcohol further disturbs Rapid Eye Movement which is the sleep that really restores us.
Research over time has shown that both deep sleep and REM sleep play important roles in how memories change overtime. According to Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD, the preeminent specialist on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder “The sleeping brain reshapes memory by increasing the imprint of emotionally relevant information while helping irrelevant information fade away.” Furthermore, Van Der Kolk says that the sleeping brain can even make sense out of information whose relevance is unclear while we are awake and integrate it into a larger memory system.
“Dreams keep replaying, recombining and reintegrating pieces of old memories for months and even years. They constantly update the subterranean realities that determine what our waking minds pay attention to… dreams help forge new relationships between apparently unrelated memories. Seeing novel connections is the cardinal feature of creativity, as we’ve seen, it’s also essential to healing. The inability to recombine experiences is also one of the striking features of PTSD.”
For many suffers of PTSD our brains are stuck on often times deeply buried horrific images that continuously cause us to be anxious or depressed and to mistreat ourselves by over eating, gambling, drugs, alcohol or bad relationships because we feel damaged and undeserving. Often times, the prescription drugs that we consume only blunt our reactions to these memories but don’t do anything to integrate them into our current consciousness so that we may understand and distinguish those images as the past.
While putting traumatic memories into the past sounds easy to do, in theory it is not. Many of us who have been traumatized, especially those of us who have been traumatized as children, never seek the help that is required to free ourselves from the long-term effects of this trauma. As a result we live lives where our brains and our bodies are in constant states of vigilance for the next bad thing to happen. This kind of vigilance, which is managed by our hormones, when they remain constant result in harm to our bodies which occur as fibromyalgia, heart disease, asthma, arthritis and a host of other physical ailments.
Over the next few blogs, I will be discussing more of the coping mechanisms as well as non-traditional types of healing from trauma. I hope to enlighten anyone who seeks to understand why they are constantly irritable or who cannot sleep or who is depressed. Understanding and coming to terms with behaviors which prevent us from being our best selves and which hinder us in our relationships is a terrible on- going price to pay, but when we do face these demons of trauma we can heal.
I hope that you will continue to join me in this journey of healing. In the meantime, I will try to figure out what that Donald Trump dream means to me. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I answer all inquires and comments.
In closing, I wish us all peaceful healing sleep.
Brianna S. Clark
The Addict Writes