In Shakespeare’s play Hamlet, Ophelia his fiancé has sex with him before they are married. She does this because she was willing to do almost anything in order to marry Hamlet. Ophelia sleeps with Hamlet even though its against her personal and religious beliefs. Instead of winning Hamlet, she in facts loses him. He tells her to “get thee to a nunnery.” Nunneries were where highborn women were sent when they somehow lose their place in society. (Think the wives of Henry the VIII of England.) Anyway when Hamlet tosses Ophelia away she drowns herself.
This my friends is being an Opelia : desperate, willing to do anything, and knowingly harming yourself.
Sadly, I have played some modern version of Ophelia. My friends have reminded me of my long ago relationship with Ted, the sex addict.
Faithful friends have telephoned to talk about my ex,Ted. Observers close to the relationship clarified a few key points- the way they recalled that relationship.
My boyfriend before Ted broke up with me, and not the other way as I portrayed it. (I think it was a mutual agreement.) That additionally, the former boy friend was a piece of work who had declared that I wasn’t wealthy enough for him. (Really?)That I was too old to have a child, which he wanted.
These same friend’s remember that Ted told me up front that he was not interested in a girlfriend and that the relationship – at least for him was never serious. Worse, at least to me, was that initially I wanted a fun “throw away” relationship until my real boyfriend came to his senses or I found a weathier version of him. So, I was pretty shallow as well.
In Ted’s defense he always maintained that he didn’t want to be my boyfriend. But that leads me to ask myself who was I that had accepted such a relationship?
Was I desperate like Ophelia? No, not in the same way. Did I compromise my own values and morals and wants? The answer is “yes.”
Ted was a boost to my deflated ego. He was 7 years younger than me. Also, Ted had earned a lot of money and notoriety that summer almost a decade ago. He was on the cover of three magazines, and no he was not a model.
I was not easy to be with. Petulant, particular and hard to please, only someone who didn’t care or see a future would have put up with me. And after, I sent him away, like Ophelia I wanted to die.
For every player out there, there is an Ophelia forsaking herself. Stop the Ophelia cycle. Guys like Ted, and Ted’s female counterparts cannot so easily exist without someone to play their Ophelia.
Monday we may talk about pornography- 68% of you guys are watching. Ladies you are too.
The Addict Writes
“Beauty stops the world on it’s axis and makes us realize we are One.