Reflections

My Dearest Readers and Friends,
I hate cold weather and despise our habit of moving our clocks forwards and backwards. I know that there are those of you reading this blog in parts of the world where it is still warm, like Nigeria or Australia. For the rest of us it’s already dismal although whoever makes up these dates, winter is allegedly weeks away, but winter is already here in beautiful Baltimore. Whatever redeeming values this city may have winter is not one of them. It took me years to accept this city’s oppressive humid summers, but that same moisture gets cold and by winter it chills to the bone.
These thoughts on coldness leads me to the topic of addiction. I’m sure that my definition of addiction offends many especially those who consider themselves clean and sober. I believe, based on my own behavior, observation of other addicts that I’ve known for years that addictive behavior does not simply disappear. I believe that addictive behavior simply transforms into other behaviors both positive and negative.
For example, I own literally several dozens of sweaters. I also own dozens of coats. If I look in closets other than my clothes closets I would find at least a half a dozen different kinds of toothpaste, shampoo, soap.  And if I’m truthful I would admit that I am addicted to various highly specialized types of food and caffeinated drinks like cofee and teas. None of the above substances are going to quickly or slowly kill me like alcohol, cocaine and speed could have.  I must always be conscious of my habits whether it be shopping, working, exercising, sleeping, eating, sexing-or whatever because I am an addict.
I am grateful that I am no longer the desperate crack fiend I once was. I am glad that I put as much effort into my recovery. For those of us who once were fiends for our particular substance know that we must remain ever vigilant against the former deadly addictions and the new, changing possible addictions which include addictions to others. (But more on that type of addiction at another writing.) As  those of us who live far north of the equator prepare for winter let us make affirmative efforts to care for ourselves. Let us check in with our hearts and minds and bodies and all that sustains the best of us, because sh_t looks and feels a lot worse when its cold and wet and freezing outside.
Signed,

The Addict Writes

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