Dear Friends and Readers,
I thank everyone who has ever put up with me through out my life. A special shout out goes to the men in my life. I am an reactionary beast. My anger, disgust and disrespect and all my negative emotions are never based on what I am currently experiencing but has roots in my traumatic past. This understanding is a start.
I used to think that I was really mad, upset, annoyed by the person who was occupying my space. Nope, it’s my evil past. Recognizing that my reactions are past based allows me to language new responses and new behaviors. This is a good thing for me.
I have lived long enough to know that even “Mr. Perfect” will one day commit that very human act which will banish him from my presence. I know that I bore easily. I am impatient. I am critical and oftentimes can be snide and unkind. I’m good at being mean and serving the deadly verbal blow. It’s all past based.
I truly am constantly working on myself. It has taken me a long time to recognize, choose an alternative and practice the good alternative.
There a few people in my life I know that I will love passionately until my last breath. The short list includes my children, Robert and Brian. Without mentioning names, I thank all of you who have forced me be to bigger and better than I believed or knew myself to be. You know who you are. Yes, you.
Tomorrow we will start the last half of the year. I have a lot to do this year. A lot. I won’t make a list but know that I am working to create a network that will allow me to spread understanding and compassion in the areas of mental illness, addiction, and childhood sexual abuse.
Over the next part 6 months. I will apply for a tax exempt status for a foundation to provide art outlets for children exposed to early childhood trauma and to support writing and reading initiatives.
I thank each of you who have faithfully followed me on this journey since August of last year. We are soon coming to our 1 year celebration. If you have enjoyed these posts or feel that someone could benefit from reading them, please share them.
To all of you,
I sign off in love,
Brianna S. Clark,
The Addict Writes