The Big O and Porno

Dear Friends,
Tonight, I am writing about pornography and orgasms and oh what the hell penis size.
I personalIy have not watched porn in years, but when I did, the women were super skinny  with enormous breasts. The men were buffed and had enormous penises. Those iconic images is one of the reasons our perceptions about sex are so jaded and discordant with reality. Its not only porn its in film and television. Who can forget, Meg Ryan’s faked orgasm in When Sally Met Harry. You get my point.
My research indicates that 68% of men view pornography on a regular basis. Most men have seen porno as early as ten, with both boys and girls viewing porno around the age of 13. 18% of women view pornography on a regular basis. And I dont know if there statistics about heterosexual couples or same sex couples viewing porn together. However, the point is that watching porn creates unrealistic expectations for both men and women.
Some numbers that may surprise you:.Only about a third of women experience orgasm regularly during intercourse. A third can reach orgasm with intercourse but need extra stimulation. A third never achieve orgasm during intercourse but can by manual and oral stimulation. Having orgasms by means other than intercourse is a normal variation of female sexuality.  However, laboratory studies in the 1960’s showed that an orgasm is an orgasm no matter which way you obtain it. How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity.
An orgasm is not always an earth-moving experience and there is nothing wrong with a woman if she is unable to reach orgasm.
Some women have orgasms and don’t know it. Some women do not experience orgasm in the sense of feeling their pelvic floor muscles contract. They do however reach a peak of arousal after which they feel very relaxed and contented, the same feelings other women experience after orgasm. By contrast, women who get very aroused and do not experience orgasm will sometimes feel “nervous” or “edgy” or even an aching discomfort in their pelvis.
And, gentlemen, if she didn’t orgasm it doesn’t mean you are an inadequate lover. Or worst fear, that your penis size is inadequate. Most women will say they don’t care. And while I hear the occasional  complaint about the lack of size, most women are in terror of the plus size penis. Many women have told me unless they are getting married to the guy that’s packing, their response is “oh hell no!”. And those who do have long-term relationships with men with over sized, large penises invariably joke about having vaginal tightening.
Also, guys few women want to be awoken to have sex-so don’t jolt us out of a deep sleep with your erect penis. And if you must awaken us do so gently and make sure we are aroused.
Now ladies, researchers say one of the number one reasons women don’t orgasm is because we are concerned how we look while having sex. I know it sounds stupid, but its true.  So stop worrying about your thighs or breasts or stomachs, we’ve already scored, so enjoy. And its perfectly ok to fantasize while, before and after sex. It’s ok. And everybody, ask for what you want in bed. It’s like having a sex menu- why not?
Remember communication is our friend in bed.
Signed,
The Addict Writes

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