What I Thought I Knew About Happiness Made Me Sad.

I am a “participant” in a Seminar called The Happiness Seminar which was created by Landmark Education, a world leader in transformational education. I put quotes around the word participant, because  I have only listened to the recorded Seminar rather than participating live. The fact that the Seminar is conducted via internet and recorded and made available will grow the audience for this valuable emotional education.

My listening to the first and second sessions to this Seminars has provided me the tools with which to generate happiness regardless of the circumstances in which I find myself. This is a bold statement.

From the first session of the Seminar, I accepted that I was functioning under the falsehood, fallacy that I was not the source of my happiness. When stated so simply, our only response is “Duh, of course,” but we don’t, at least I had not been living my life as the source of my happiness. My circumstances and my interpretation of those circumstances was what decided whether I was happy or not.

In the second session of the Seminar, I learned that I was n’t really present to my life. I have come to believe that being present to life is relating to “it” with all of your faculties. Often times, I have been in my head instead of out here in the world.

As I continued to reflect upon my thoughts about happiness, I also examined how “happiness” occurs within my body. What I found was that when I considered myself happy,  I  crinkled my eyes, my breathing and heart rate increases and I feel a profound energetic connection with what is occurring. increased rate of my heart and breathing and a deep  emotional connection to the moment.   I believe we are  present when we interact with the world using both our minds and bodies and all of our senses.

Perhaps most startling and valuable was that  I discovered that I had linked happiness to sadness.  I had unconsciously been applying my “formula”  for what made me happy to the events that were happening in my life. This convoluted linking of happiness with sadness was the result of some the crazy beliefs that I had made up when I linked happiness and sadness. First belief about happiness was that “happiness was best shared.” This belief ruled out ever being happy unless I was with something.

Another one of my beliefs about happiness was that “the happier the moment, the sadder the sad moment.”

As a result I remained in a default state of subdued happiness and mostly irritation and anxiety. Pretty sad.

These tears of joy seemed to accompany every great moment of my life from the birthing of my two children to my graduation from law school and to many happpy events in my life. So, this link of happiness with tears had been around for a long time. A prime example of such a moment was when I got married to my late husband, Delgardo Darby. If you look closely at my face in the picture below, underneath that big smile is a tear-stained face.  

By realizing I had made this link between happiness and sadness, I have an opportunity to choose to make other connections both emotionally and mentally. This could be possible if I choose to believe that I was the source of my own happiness. This is good and exciting place to be. As a result of these insights I have had a very happy week.

I don’t know what I will discover in the next five sessions of this Seminar, but I will share what I have learned. I end with the realization that happiness occurs in brief moments, the trick to life is to string as many as of these moments of happiness together as often as possible.

What have you told yourself about Happiness? Answering that question for yourself, may set you free.

(The photo which I open this blog entry is  an example of my future relationship being a couple of cares for each other in the most fragile time of our lives- now that is a reason for Happiness. Here are photos another created happy day in my life. )

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